I am not sure if my smoking fetish began 29 years ago, or longer. I presume its origins would have to date back further in time than that. But I do remember that the first time I experienced what one might call an orgasm, albeit minus any form of ejaculate, was when I lived in my second childhood home, which means that I was over 10 years old. Possibly over 11 years old. Silly and embarrassing recalling it, but I would press myself up against the corner of a chair or sofa, and after a little while, it would feel good. I didn't know what I was doing. Had no idea that it was sexual. And had no idea why I was doing it. I am not entirely sure how we start doing these things. Are they purely by accident? Or does a switch flip inside us that says "Start being horny now"?
At any rate, that is my earliest "sexual" memory. And what I also know is that I was thinking about a woman smoking when I was doing it. I don't remember which woman it was. I am nearly positive that it was not my mother, who was 53 at that time. And I am also nearly positive that it was not my sister, who was 26 at that time. Although, both of them were regular smokers. I don't recall having any Oedipal or incestuous tendencies then, or ever! It might have been a neighbor, or a distant relative, or someone on the television that I thought about. I really don't know.
But that's where it started.
The history of it is probably somewhat muddied. I will try to relate to you the approximate chronology of things. But obviously, this is my recalling things that started 29 years ago, which I never documented at all. Once I got to the age that I was exploring the fetish in relationships, I think my historical data will be far more accurate, because I will always have the dates of the relationships to mark time.
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